This is, more or less, a manifesto. Henceforth, I am my own audience, I am my own candidate and the station of power is my life. For the first time in a while, I am casting my vote rightly and the emerging candidate is me. No campaigns, no external validation; only a simple desire to govern and be governed by my beliefs, passions, convictions, standards and values.
My main agenda is bordered around a simple question — What can I do to piss the world off so much?
And I already know the answer. You see, I have cared a lot about doing things in a way that is accepted, appreciated, publicised and rewarded by the world previously, and I only found reluctance, imposter syndrome and a lack of motivation to create as I am created to do.
So in this regime, if my ideas are not 'good enough', then that's just great! Since I desire to piss the world off. If my words are not presented perfectly enough in my conceived notion of what people deem acceptable; then I must share it as is. Because in this regime, it fuels my agenda. Digging into unfinished pieces that are becoming bones in the graveyard we call drafts must be my new passion. If I am able to pull off something, every day, that I recognise may be imperfect and deemed incompetent by the world, I am already on a path to succeeding at my goal. And along with that, I'll grow.
I know what it means to worry so much about something that I create and to judge it. I know what it means to only ever think it must be better before I can share it, because people may not like it. And then watch it fade into the abyss of old creations; birthing a desire to create something new. Something fresh. And the cycle continues…
While I have heard about 'doing it afraid', allow me to posit a new shift of mindset. Our fears can no longer hold us hostage if we begin to see them as inevitable endpoints. And this perspective may not erase them entirely, but it serves as a crucial starting point for confronting and overcoming them. I desire the courage to challenge what is conceivably good enough for public consumption. Not because I want to promote mediocrity, but because my mind chooses to suppress my creativity to nothing more than a gift to question. And I must fight it.
What you have is a gift. Give yourself the chance to grow as you go. And not wait to only act after you grow — with time lost, new regrets and questions that have hung around for far too long.
I have decided to embrace my fear of failure. To fail if what it means to fail is to take action (even if my actions are not perfect) and do the things that bring me joy and fulfilment, regardless of how much it pleases or displeases the world. That is the new mandate.
I invite you to join me.